an Origins Midwife’s Story
Where do I begin? As a midwife who has worked for years to help women achieve the birth they have always dreamed of and as a mother who has had the perfect home water-birth experience myself, I never dreamed that my son would be born via cesarean delivery.
As many of you know, because I (Kaitlyn Wages, CM, LM) am no longer able to carry my own children, we chose the most ideal surrogate (Amanda), who also had a history of beautiful easy water-births with her own children. The two of us spent hours envisioning and planning for the climactic moment she would deliver my son into my waiting arms. It was going to be another beautiful water-birth for the both of us, and my son Shepherd. Neither of us would have ever imagined that Plan B would become our birth story.
Amanda went into labor on July 17, 2017 and progressed easily to 8cm dilated. When I went to check her progress in the early morning hours the following day, I was shocked to feel my sweet baby’s nose instead of his hard noggin. I looked to my Origins sister midwives to help me process what I knew in my heart must be done. You see, a baby coming face presentation with their chin facing towards the back is incompatible with a safe vaginal delivery as it could cause severe and irreparable damage to the baby. Things began to move very quickly as they needed to be, yet Amanda and I both felt suspended in time. It seemed as though we were in the eye of a terrifying storm. I thought I was being robbed of all of my desires for our birth experience. I kept wondering “Why is this happening to me?!” “Why is this happening to my selfless surrogate who had sacrificed so much already?”
We arrived at the hospital, and just a short time later, I was back in the Operating Room for one of the most surreal experiences of my life. My heart was pounding, tears were flowing from both Amanda and myself, and the stakes were high. I watched as the surgeon began to cut and I couldn’t believe we were all here having this happen to us. What would it be like? Would the method of delivery change how we all felt about the birth? Would it change how we felt about each other? Would it ruin the climactic moment we’d been dreaming of for over two years?
The answer to all of those questions was a
resounding answer: “NO!”
The short of it, is that the moment I saw my son emerge into this world, was everything I had been dreaming of. That’s not to say that we all didn’t grieve the loss of our Plan A; but our Plan B was equally and surprisingly just as magical.
This personal experience has allowed me to grow as a midwife
and increased my understanding of how it feels to need a Plan B.
At Origins, we are blessed to walk most women through their Plan A’s, however;
we are equally as blessed to walk families through their Plan B,
and now I know first hand that at the end of the day,
holding your sweet healthy baby
in your arms is the very best plan of all.
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